The nun casually stepped over Viscount Agren, who had rolled to her legs, and took a step closer to me.
――― Viscount. I finally realised that the noise I had heard earlier was the sound of the Viscount falling to the ground. The falling water pooled on the ground and a dark red gradually spread out.
As the Viscount slowly raised that he had been killed, he weakly lifted up his shaking right hand and grabbed the hem of the nun’s clothes.
“Why… did No… rdstrem… me…!”
His fragmented, slurred words reached my ears even though they were muffled by the sound of the water.
Nordsterm. So that nun is connected to the north.
“Wilhelmina, is that her? She really does look like him.”
The woman giggled and her voice sounded husky. The lady standing behind the nun, who must have said that, casually stepped over Viscount Agren’s head. The Viscount groaned and then fell silent.
She was a tall woman dressed in a simple travelling cloak. I couldn’t really see her face because she had her hood pulled over her eyes and a cloth wrapped around her mouth, but her bare thighs and belly were smooth and dark brown. She looked like a prostitute. I could tell from a glance that she wasn’t from this kingdom.
“… Who are you guys?”
They looked at each other when I asked them who they were. Then, they laughed.
“Thanks for asking, Pipsqueak. This girl’s name is Wilhelmina, and she is the heroine who will rebuild this kingdom. You should speak more respectfully to her. Say, you fake, bloody, heroine demon.”
The woman smirked and spoke in a high-pitched voice as if she was reciting a song.
“And my name is Deiferais. This is the first time that we’ve met, ――― Ouwe’s daughter.”
The spear slipped out of my hand and the end of the spear hit the ground with a thud. The sound brought me back to my senses slightly and I clenched my fists tightly.
I never imagined that I would hear that name here and now.
“… I had no idea that my father had rebelled against the nation and was hanging out with heretics.”
I felt a sickening sensation at the back of my throat, as if someone was rudely caressing the inside of my chest. I felt as if my internal organs were being turned upside down and my legs were about to give up on me, so I supported my body with the spear.
But the intense chills and nauseating feeling was too much for me to bear, so I bent over and vomited, not just once, but several times as my body convulsed, and I tried to push even the tiniest bit of air out of my empty stomach.
No matter where I go, I’m still the daughter of a monstrous scoundrel. Even though I killed Ouwe, his name will always follow me forever. What’s ‘Ouwe’s daughter’, that phrase is always being said with sarcasm. I’ll take that fear and contempt that goes with it and turn it around. Why, why did I think that I was free from Father’s spell? I haven’t changed at all. I am the daughter of the man who tormented his people. I am the daughter of the man who betrayed his kingdom. I’m the one who killed the father of her attendant. I’m someone who is piling up sins just by being alive.
“Oh my, it looks like you hate it so much to the point of vomiting. That’s so sad. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, Ouwe’s favourite child.”
The lady said as if she was enjoying herself a lot. That made me feel even more nauseous.
My head shook. Father’s voice from my memories forcibly woke me up.
Before I knew it, Rashiok, who had been standing right next to me, barked menacingly at the two of them. A gust of wind roared, forcing them to stumble forward.
The woman’s cloak and cloth were blown away, revealing her full face. Her eyes and nose were distinctly eastern, and for some reason, the left side of her face was distorted in a strange way.
It was white ink tattoo. The intricately designed tattoo spread in a crisscross pattern from the right side of her face to her arms and legs.
“Where is Kamil?”
I didn’t want to deal with her anymore, ――― yes, my dislike for Deiferais was growing. However, a voice so thick that couldn’t be explained left my mouth and was directed at Wilhelmina.
Wilhelmina tensed for a moment, but then she smiled. She smiled repulsively, like a fake holy mother.
“Who’s that?”
She said shamelessly.
I held my spear as an overwhelming impulse surged through me, and Rashiok snuggled close to me. The air trembled in response to the draconis who had spread his wings and growled menacingly.
“Oh my, how amazing. You’ve got a rare pet, Pipsqueak. I’m jealous~~~.”
The woman’s teasing voice viciously coiled in my ears. I forced myself to swallow down my nausea. I held my mouth shut, looked up and glared at her. I saw the woman smile eerily from the corner of my eyes.
“I’m jealous, so lend him to me for a bit. I’d love to play with it.”
The woman swayed her empty hands at Rashiok.
Then, to my disbelief, the tattoos on her body turned a poisonous reddish-purple colour while glowing with phosphorescence.
“You said you want to play with it, but we need to get out of here soon, Deiferais.”
“I know, Wilhelmina. I’m only going to play a little. I’ll just play for a little bit, until that pipsqueak’s heart breaks into squishy pieces.”
The woman smiled disgustingly as she glared at me.
What the fuck is she going to do? I became more alert and readied my spear.
Dieferais. The heathenism terrorist who was said to have infiltrated this kingdom. Is something coming―――? I was on my guard since I knew I wouldn’t be able to deal with her using normal means.
“Now, let’s play with the pet together!”
The woman barked in an annoying voice, then Rashiok suddenly cried and fell to the ground.
“Rashiok…?! What did you do?!”
I thrusted the spear tip at the woman’s, at Deiferais’s neck. Deiferais widened her eyes in surprise for a moment, but the tip of the spear only ended up brushing against her neck.
The nun deflected the spear with a sword from her side and she glared at the nun. Using the momentum of the thrust, I made them rotate their bodies, then I swept the spear sideways which caused them to leap backwards.
“Oh my, you’re stronger than I thought.”
“That’s because she’s relentless. She’s lost all her restraints as a person. That’s why she can kill people without hesitation. It’s proof that she has inherited her father’s psychopathic blood more than anyone else.”
Those words came out extremely joyfully out of the nun’s ――― Wilhelmina’s mouth. My brain went numb from those words even though I knew she was saying it to shake me up.
You can hurt people unpretentiously. You’re a demon like your father. ――― Shut up, I know that well even if you don’t say it ――― I thought and yet the back of my teeth grinded together loudly.
I measured the distance. A two-on-one fight is a pretty tough situation, but I had no choice but to do something about it now that Rashiok had been defeated.
I adjusted the rhythm of my breathing to sooth my fast beating heart.
“… Don’t glare at me with such a scary face, Pipsqueak. Your opponent is someone else.”
Deiferias applied pressure to her neck which was slowly dripping with blood and managed to turn her painfully distorted expression into a smile. She slowly spread her arms towards the sky. A mysterious pattern of light was drawn in the air.
It sounded as if something was clawing on the ground, then Rashiok grasped my neck in a slow motion from behind.
“Rash―――…”
… iok. The words that were supposed to follow were cut off before they were spoken. I reflexively jumped back and Rashiok’s giant body plunged into the ground.
“… Rashiok?”
I called his name half in a daze because he was clearly acting erratic.
He laid down on the ground again and scratched the ground with his forefeet while groaning in pain. He was foaming at the mouth and his pupils were narrowed and dilated, as if he was extremely excited.
What the fuck is going on? Goosebumps rose all over my body because of my unpleasant hunch.
“Ufufuufu. Now play with your cute pet, Pipsqueak―――!”
Deiferias’s harsh laughter sounded in the area, and she waved her arms again. She drew an eerie purplish-red pattern in the air. Rashiok sluggishly stood up again and he turned his insane eyes towards me. He drooled, groaned, and roared.
My mind went blank. I automatically rolled on the ground as he rushed at me.
“Rashiok―――.”
This unbelievable experience made me call out his name again. Rashiok roared in anguish again, then he put his face to the ground and rubbed his face against it. He was trying to shake something off. Deiferias sneered and yelled in a high-pitched tone.
“You’re a dragon after all! How dare you resist me!?”
The woman, who danced with blood flowing from her neck and staining her entire body, seemed to be an extremely fearsome existence. The only thing I could understand was that this was incomprehensible, and I almost cowered from this mysterious event.
That woman is controlling Rashiok.
No way. How can she control him? My god, something like being able to control living beings at will… I couldn’t deny it though since there were flickering shadows in the sky just above my field of vision. There was an innumerable number of phosphorescent moths floating around in the sky above the commoner’s district.
“… You’re controlling the monsters…?”
It was like the magic Rashiok used to control the wind.
“Correct. You’re a smart one, aren’t you Pipsqueak. I’m a divine messenger of Alfena who can control monsters. I’m here to destroy this heretical kingdom where there isn’t even a single person who could use the power of God. Ahahaha―――.”
Power of God? If that’s… the same power as what the monsters use, then isn’t it magic?
Or is that what religion is? You believe that it’s god’s power just because you can use a power that monsters can? I glanced at Wilhelmina, and she was listening as if she didn’t care what Deiferias had to say.
That means that the forces of the nun, the forces of Deiferias, the heretics of the anti-noble faction… is the Alfena church in the west? Are they just working together or is it something else?
“Say, oh yes, you should come with us too. Pipsqueak, you should come with us just like your father did.”
My eyes turned bright red at that moment. My right arm strongly slashed through the air. The spear in my right hand flew out of my hand and pierced the woman’s right thigh. Fresh blood gushed out from her thigh like a mist.
The woman’s loud laughter turned into a shriek. The nun finally lost her composure for the first time and called out the woman’s name, “Deiferias.”
My lips lifted in brutal pleasure like a thick, black, heavy tar. I touched my cheek with my left hand and realised that I was smiling in a very distorted way.
Laughter escaped from my lips. The insides of my stomach boiled. It was hot and painful as if it was searing. My head, on the other hand, was as chilled as ever as if it was trapped in ice.
My ears were ringing badly. I felt like I was floating, and I couldn’t feel the ground anymore.
My cloudy feelings came out in a low, groaning laughter.
I stepped on the head of the corpse lying beside me and pulled out my rapier which I had pierced into his neck just a while ago.
Deiferias pulled the spear out of her leg and flung it to the ground with a clang. Her face was stained with anger and humiliation, and she glared at me sharply; her eyes were filled with murderous intent and hatred. I felt my lips twist even more.
Did this woman tell me to take my father’s place?
When I thought that, a muddy stream of hopeless emotions that couldn’t be described in a single word filled up inside me.
Even the thought of Rashiok squirming and suffering on the ground vanished from my mind.
“I’ll kill you.”
It sounded so brutal that it froze my brain even more.
As soon as Deiferias opened both her arms, I darted towards her in a straight line and aimed my rapier at her.
As I had expected, a sword from next to me caught the tip of my sword as it headed for the woman’s stomach. I heard her click her tongue impatiently, and then the deafening metallic sound of blades crossing against each other drowned out the clicking sound.
I stomped on the butt end of the spear as hard as I could, and the tip jumped up. Deiferias jumped back to avoid the spear.
“… Tsk, this fucking brat…!”
As soon as Wilhelmina jumped backwards as if her sword had been struck, Rashiok jumped at me from behind while roaring. I threw mud at his eyes with my left hand.
I listened indifferently as the draconis whined.
I hit his nose without hesitation when he used his forefeet to veer off course. The scales that had peeled from his skin glittered in the air in front of me. I couldn’t avoid his left wing as it passed over my shoulder and grazed it. My arm swung in the wrong direction and an unpleasant sound came from my shoulder.
I felt a sharp pain and numbness ran through my arm, and my left arm slumped down feebly… My shoulder’s been dislocated? If it’s a subluxation then it’s fine, but if my arm has been completely dislocated, then that’s a bit of a nuisance.
“Argh, Deiferias. It looks like you’ve done something a little unnecessary…”
Wilhelmina raised her voice in frustration and thrusted her sword at my thigh. I kicked it with the sole of my shoes which caused it to repel and aim at her dawn coloured eyes.
I twisted my body and turned my face away while grabbing her wet black hair that was spread in the air in a messy manner, then I pulled it as hard as I could.
I ripped her hair out. Wilhelmina’s face distorted in pain, and she quickly tried to cut off the hair that was still in my grip. My rapier shallowly grazed her ear almost at the same time.
“Ugh!”
A corner of my consciousness calmly observed my prey as she let out a slight groan, she’s not used to fighting. Also, they seem to have little desire to kill me here. That’s convenient. It’d be best if they just keep holding back and die.
“Wilhelmina!”
Deiferias leaped at me with a dagger in hand. I lowered my body to avoid the broken blade that was aimed at my neck, then threw mud at the wound on her injured right thigh.
“Arghh, fucking…!”
The woman’s dagger slashed at my left arm which was just hanging in the air. I didn’t care about my injured arm as I stepped forward. I swung my rapier from below and slashed the woman’s face.
The woman screamed. The tip of my rapier sliced through Deiferias’s left cheek. The woman staggered away from me and jumped back.
I also jumped backwards without hesitation and got away from them.
At the same time, I bit down hard on the high collar of my coat. I hooked the guard of my rapier around the fingertips of my left hand and used my free right hand to grab my left shoulder which had been dislocated. I slowly pulled the joint, which didn’t feel deformed, slowly forward and down. The pain was even worse than before, and I was sweating profusely as if it was raining. A sickening click echoed through my body and the intense pain made me blank out.
I instantly felt like vomiting and a small amount of gastric juice flowed back into my mouth. I felt a burning sensation at my throat. I quickly vomited the gastric juice out of my mouth, put my rapier back into my right arm and readied it.
I forcefully calmed my erratic breathing.
My body wobbled. Was I being a little too reckless?
Deiferias was also adjusting her stance while watching me. She was trembling while covering her left eye with her hand, her breathing was rough like an animal, and she glared at me.
She didn’t have the slightest hint of ridicule or carelessness in her eyes.
“Deiferias.”
Wilhelmina held one ear with her bloodied hand behind Deiferias as she calmly called out the woman’s name.
“It’s time to go.”
The woman’s face twisted in a repulsive expression for a moment. Like I’ll let you get away. I kicked the ground, but Deiferias was faster than me. She waved her fingers in my direction, making the mysterious pattern flicker.
It wasn’t Rashiok who moved, but the countless phosphorescent moths in the sky.
They turned into a pitch-black mass and rushed towards me without regard for the water that was spraying from the broken water fountain. I instinctively shielded my face. The shadows of the phosphorescent moths completely obscured my vision. One by one, their wet wings crashed on top of me and into the muddy ground.
They didn’t light on fire because of the water, but their sheer number completely blocked my movements.
I heard the high-pitched scream of a girl in the midst of the countless sounds of phosphorescent moths flapping their wings as if they were struggling.
――― It was Feyria’s voice. I couldn’t help but cuss in my mind. I’m sure she’s close by, but I couldn’t even reach out to her when I’ve lost my sense of direction because of the flapping sounds.
“BY―――E, PIP―――SQUEAK―――!”
I could faintly hear Deiferias’s frustrated, insult-filled shout.
I hazily saw the two of them turn their backs towards me among the falling phosphorescent moths who were slowly losing their numbers. I also caught the glimpse of someone who looked like Feyria in Deiferias’s arms.
I swept away the fading rain of phosphorescent moths and took off my coat that was covered in their corpses.
Then, I readied my rapier again. I stared at Rashiok in an extremely gloomy mood with my bloodshot eyes as he foamed at the mouth and drooled.
“Rashiok ―――.”
I called out to him. He was no longer rubbing his head against the ground.
Rashiok opened his big mouth like a rabid wolf, a beast without reason, and jumped straight at me.
I won’t accept death just because it’s coming for me.
A strangely calm thought whispered in the corner of my mind.
I rolled on the ground, barely escaping from Rashiok. However, his serpentine tail slithered and slammed into me from the left with terrifying force, and my light body was blown away.
“Gah…!”
I rolled on the muddy ground. My body bounced over and over on the ground.
My whole body creaked with an unpleasant sound. I choked from the impact, but I quickly stood up as I dragged myself to my feet.
I held my rapier straight in front of my body and waited for Rashiok to pounce on me again.
I felt terrible, like my heart was thirsty and cracked.
I felt a stabbing pain as I wiped mud from my face with my left hand. Oh, come to think of it, my arm had been slashed.
I have wounds all over my body… Well, how can I end this situation without dying?
Rashiok stared at me as he wagged his tail unhappily. He still hadn’t regained his senses even though Deiferias had left.
Was he completely brainwashed? To make monsters and magic beasts completely ignore their habits and lose their memories… This technique can’t be explained unless you call it magic.
While I think magicians are ridiculous, I know that magic does exist in this world. I’ve seen radcisilkas freeze entire forests and I’ve seen Rashiok manipulate the wind to blow away the phosphorescent moths. Monsters and magic beasts are creatures with supernatural abilities called magic, and it has never been proven that humans can’t possess magic.
“Rashiok, come to your senses…!”
I shouted, but Rashiok didn’t seem to pay any attention to my voice. He growled lowly and his eyes were fixed on me as if he was looking at prey.
Do I have to kill him after all?
Can I even kill him?
I felt as if Kamil’s face had flashed through my mind for a second.
――― At worst, my blade could slip off his scales and be repelled.
I would have to aim for his eyes or the inside of his opened mouth.
As soon as I thought about killing him, my mind started searching for a vital point where I could kill him in a single blow, as it always did.
A sword isn’t good enough. I want to switch to a spear.
Against the huge Rashiok, the small distance between us can lead to death.
The spear was lying between Rashiok and I. I’m not sure if I can jump in and change my weapon in time…
My body rapidly began to feel heavy. I don’t believe I can avoid him when he leaps at me again. If I want the spear, then now is the time to get it.
I instantly made up my mind. I kicked the muddy ground, almost falling forward. Rashiok also started running as if he was drawn by my action.
The mud at the bottom of my shoes made me slip and I grabbed the handle of the spear while half rolling on the ground.
Rashiok’s mouth was in front of me as soon as I raised my body.
I reflexively turned the spear sideways to stop his sharp teeth from biting me.
I was surprised by my own spontaneous action. I lost to Rashiok’s strength and flipped headfirst onto the ground.
Pressure seemed to be building in my stiff arm. This beast is playing with me, isn’t he?
“A, aaaaaaah!”
My shoulder creaked and a splash of bright red blood spurt out from the laceration on my left arm. The beast cried happily.
My vision blurred when I screamed out in pain. Rashiok’s insane eyes became blurry.
Shit, why am I crying at a time like this…?
I couldn’t stop the sobs from escaping from the depths of my clenched teeth.
Why do I have to fight to the death with him? I had raised him before he could even open his eyes. This beautiful beast has always been by my side. How can I kill him with my own hands?
――― It’s impossible. I can’t do it. I don’t want to do it even if it kills me.
My arms trembled and the mud at the corner of my eyes was being washed away by my tears.
But I couldn’t let a beast who had lost all reasons live, no matter how much I cry my emotions out.
Especially since it’s a beast that I had raised. Especially since it’s the beast that I had raised with him.
Hanging on the hilt of the spear which Rashiok was biting down hard, I kicked at Rashiok’s exposed and defenceless throat with all my might.
I was half-surprised by my own acrobatic skills, but I took advantage of the opportunity to switch the spear vertically as Rashiok screamed in surprise and turned his body away.
Now, die. I’ll probably be crushed by your body like this and die with you, but I don’t mind dying with you.
… But I didn’t feel the impact of the spear piercing through his flesh.
Rashiok suddenly let out a piercing roar as he pulled his huge body completely off me.
I heard something fall on top of the mud, it was a beautiful purplish-red colour.
――― Was it his wing?
It felt as if my heart was being clutched in an icy cold hand. I squeezed out an inarticulate scream, “Rashiok.”
I was suddenly pulled out from the mud.
I looked up at the person, who had pulled me up, in a daze, and said his name in a hoarse voice.
“… Kamil.”
A young man with cold eyes, covered in burn scars, pulled my arm.
“――― Eh. Is that my real name?”
Emptiness like a glass ball shot through me.
It was like the first day we had met.
Kamil’s eyes looked disoriented as he reached for my left arm. When I was lifted up, a sharp pain shot through the hole in my left hand, and I groaned silently.
“Hey, I’ve got some questions for you.”
His voice sounded unfamiliar.
――― I’m sure he’s Kamil, and yet, the more I look at him, the more unfamiliar he seemed.
His slender body was covered in scars, and half his face, starting from his cheeks, was covered in burn marks, and there was a sword cut across his face. His pearly skin was nowhere to be seen, and his pure amber eyes were now cold and cloudy, as if it had been made by a poor craftsman.
Is he really Kamil? I can only assume he is, but I’m not sure.
I suddenly heard Rashiok struggling in the mud, but I couldn’t look away from the young man in front of me.
“Say, what am I to you?”
I didn’t know how I should answer his question.
“Answer me, Tsar.”
――― But as soon as he called out to me in his emotionless voice, a strong urge surged through me from the bottom of my stomach.
“The current you… shouldn’t call me by that name!”
I flicked away Kamil’s hand and put my strength into my right hand which was holding the spear.
But Kamil didn’t pull out the sword on his hip and just stared at me.
“… Who are you? Are you really Kamil?”
“Who knows. I don’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t remember. Wilhelmina… it seems like the comrades of the nun who you were fighting earlier have ruined me.”
Kamil replied indifferently, as if he was talking about someone else.
I looked at his body again. The scarred skin peeking out from his clothes were even discoloured in some areas. How was he treated for his skin to become discoloured?
I felt the blood drain from my body as if I had been splashed with ice, cold water.
These weren’t scars from injuries he had sustained in Jugfena.
They were the marks of torture.
“… Honestly, I probably don’t care who I am anymore.”
Kamil muttered sarcastically while I was stunned. I saw emotions from him for the first time.
A dry, worthless feeling of resignation and despair.
――― Why did it turn out like this?
Why did this happen to him? Why did they destroy him like this?
He was like a ――― living corpse. He was like a pitiful warrior who had died and was still moving.
Tears flowed from my eyes.
… The one who drove Kamil to this state, the one who made him like this, is me. It was definitely me.
Something clanged in front of me as I sobbed; it was a dagger that Kamil had taken out.
I see.
Is this how I pay for my sins?
――― You like me, don’t you? So much so that you don’t mind being killed. I also like you, so much so that I don’t want to kill you. So, please live. Don’t die. ――― I’m sorry.
The words of someone whose voice I could no longer remember surfaced at the back of my ears.
I laughed.
Who is this? Who is this battered girl, stained with blood and mud, worn out from insomnia and fatigue, dressed as if she was only a man?
――― I couldn’t find any trace of Eliza Kaldia or her father, whom I had feared so much.
I made up my mind. I even felt strangely refreshed.
“Kamil, I’m sorry. My ――― irreplaceable and precious Kamil.”
I already know that I can’t kill you. I’m not strong enough to kill something so important with my own hands.
So, ――― I guess I’ll just have to accept my own sins.
He thrusted his blade at my throat.
Fresh blood splattered. A colour like my eyes mixed with the pouring water.
“――― Wh…y…”
His hand, which had caught the blade and was holding it, turned bright red.
The blade had pierced Kamil’s hand, and only the tip had grazed my throat.
“Why, Tsar? Why…”
“Kamil…?|
I couldn’t understand what was happening. Something different from the water of the broken fountain dripped onto my hand which was holding the rapier.
“Why… Why are you trying to get yourself killed instead of finishing me off…!”
Drip, drip, Kamil’s tears fell endlessly onto my hand.
“Finish… you… Kamil? Stop it!”
Kamil took the rapier from my hand without listening to my protest and pulled out the blade that was stuck in his palm with all his might.
Fresh blood gushed out again, and I couldn’t help but cover my face. I didn’t want to see anymore. I couldn’t bear the thought of Kamil getting hurt because of me.
“Shut up, idiot; you idiot Tsar!”
He shouted in rage as he held me close. He buried his face in my shoulder and cried as he clung to me.
“What happened to the promise you made with me…? You said you’ll tell me properly.”
“Ah―――.”
My heart thumped deep in my chest.
That’s right. I did say that to him.
I’ll tell you properly. I’ll tell you everything, so please don’t die.
Forgive me.
“――― Forgive me, please forgive me Kamil. It’s my fault. Kamil, Kamil…”
I hugged him as he shook, and my arms were also shaking.
“It’s okay. I forgive you… I forgive you for everything. So please forgive me too, Eliza-sama.”
We hugged each other while covered in blood. We wiped each other’s tears over and over with our bloodied hands, as if to confirm the presence of the other in our arms. The stroking hands on our cheeks were soon replaced by the warmth and wetness of Rashiok’s tongue.
“Rashiok…?”
Rashiok whined feebly. The pain of having his wings cut off brought him back to his senses.
That’s good… Ah, I’m so glad.
