My schedule continued to be full, and it was around the middle of summer when I was finally able to take a day off. The peak of the social season, the Descension Festival, was just around the corner and the nobles will refrain from going out for a short time to prepare for the festival. This was a breather from the traditional society gatherings.
Sadly, however, being an apprentice feudal lord has been ingrained into my bones over the past year, so I can’t seem to stop thinking about the fief, despite it being a long awaited day off. As I sank into the living room sofa and slowly sipping my tea, I thought about education in the fief, ――― that is, the connection between the fief and the church.
The teachings of Ar Xia church in Arxia Kingdom was so influential that it affected everyone from commoners to livestock. It would not be an exaggeration to say that those teachings were the norms and morals within the kingdom. It was more than just a religion established by the kingdom, it was closely related to the law, the founding of the kingdom, the social structure and administration of the kingdom, the important ceremonies for commoners, as well as agriculture and livestock.
I thought I was well aware of this since I began studying the law as a feudal lord, but I was reminded of its importance when I began to attend the temple’s Sacred Code readings and spoke with the bishop who had been invited to Kaldia.
The churches in Kaldia had been demolished soon after my father took over as feudal lord, and the bishops had been driven out. Therefore, the people in the fief hadn’t even received the minimum education from the church for nearly thirty years.
Education that indoctrinated the universal rules of society, or morality, was closely related to religion. The schools that noble children had to attend were originally monasteries, and there were many educational institutions whose origins were derived from religion in my previous life too.
I suppose this was a bit of an odd characteristic, but the Ar Xia church had little funding and was mostly ran through the national budget. As such, most of the costs of running a church in the fief were paid for by the feudal lord. We were finally able to invite a priest to the fief, but it was far from enough to spread education throughout the fief.
… The loss caused by my father isn’t going to be filled at all. It truly is disappointing.
“――― Ah, hey, are you listening?”
I looked up in surprise when my shoulder was grabbed and Radka was staring at me without me noticing. I’m not sure if I had been distracted by my many emotional thoughts, but I blinked and returned to the present.
“… Are you unwell?”
“No, I was just dazed from thinking.”
I couldn’t help but laugh a little at the caring expression on the face of the child in front of me. Radka found this insulting and raised his eyebrows slightly.
“Get a grip. What will happen to me if you get assassinated because you’re spacing out?”
“There still hasn’t been an attempt on my life in the royal capital.”
“Hmph… will there be!?”
I don’t intend on picking fights with everyone, but that kind of danger would naturally appear since the fief was being rebuilt and was now counted as part of the border defence line. After all, there are many who will take hostile actions towards me just because the national defence budget had been shuffled a little.
Still, I looked at Radka again.
“What is it?”
“I was wondering if you would be troubled if I died. You were screaming about killing me a year ago.”
“Y… you! There’s a limit to how mean one can be!”
Radka let out a dumbfounded voice and was distracted. This straightforward way of expressing feelings was somewhat relieving. I also felt relief and anxiety from the fact that I couldn’t feel bloodthirst from him.
“… Sorry, I’ve said too much even though I was joking.”
“You did… Oh, yes. I wanted to tell you that you got a letter from the temple.”
“A letter?”
I took the envelope that Radka had given me and turned it around to find an unfamiliar sealing wax on it. There was an unfamiliar seal on top of the temple seal which I was used to seeing. ――― The only person that the F on the seal reminded me of right now was Faris-dono.
When I turned the envelope around, I could clearly see that it was addressed ‘To Eliza Kaldia-dono’ on the front. Apparently, this hadn’t been misdelivered to me.
“Please get me a paper knife.”
A letter arrived from a priestess who I wasn’t close to. I leaned my back against the chair while glaring at the letter in my hand, wondering what the hell Faris-dono wanted.
I looked up at the magnificent white walls of the temple and tapped Radka’s back as he slumped his shoulders in exhaustion next to me.
Sheen Temple, ――― a pure white temple which stood right next to the royal palace, was more elegant and fastidious than the Great Temple of Misorua, which was located a little further away from the noble district. Although commoners also visited the Great Temple, the main visitors of this temple, which stood at the heart of the noble district, were nobles or royals.
“Let’s go.”
“… It hurts, though?”
I ignored the glare that was coming from my side, and could hear Claudia, who was dressed as a maid and standing several steps behind me, chuckle lowly.
I have been taking Claudia and Radka out with me lately, but Faris-dono asked them to come with me today, for some reason.
“Why us three…?”
I stepped into the dazzling, marble temple and muttered to myself. I didn’t even tell that priestess about Radka. I don’t know from where and since when she knew, but I can guess that she had probably found out from Earl Thelesia, since she was close with him.
“It’s said that Priestess Faris-dono has the eyes of god.”
Did I hear her mutter this because my ears are good? Claudia, who knew more about the royal capital than I, began to talk about the mysterious priestess.
“Her mother is from the Merleart family, and I heard that she’s the daughter of a duke. Others say that she was Earl Thelesia’s former fiancée or wife.”
“… Hah?!”
It was surprising to hear that the name of the Merleart House, which was connected to the royal family, but Faris-dono’s age was even more unexpected. A lady from a Duke House, and also the former fiancée of Earl Thelesia? This meant that there should be only a 10 year difference between them. She’s over 70 years old even though she looks that young…?
“Oh, that’s a curious background. She’s not the kind of person who would join a monastery, is she?”
“Apparently, she distances herself from the world, so much so that people state that she has the eyes of god. She might really have divine powers and joined the church.”
Apparently, I was the only one who had seen Priestess Faris in person, and Radka and Claudia weren’t shock by the age of the priestess who they were about to meet.
Radka wouldn’t have met her before, but if Claudia hadn’t met her before either, then the priestess might actually not show herself to others much… Well, only a small percentage of monks and priests appear in high society, and most of the clergy were secluded in churches or temples.
――― Even so, the eyes of god?
I recalled the scales that the priestess had presented to me on my sixth birthday celebration.
My everything was exposed then, even though no one should have known. The other two people who were there, Earl Thelesia and Kamil, probably didn’t know what the things on the scale meant.
Kamil pretended not to know that I had laid the blame on his father even at the time of his death.
As for the Earl, I also think that he might know everything. If I think about it carefully, there was no one else who could have prepared the parchment and other items that were placed on the scales but him. He hasn’t said anything about it so far, but he could probably have guessed at least some of what had happened back then from what had happened at the ceremony.
The rest of the way to the temple, where we were instructed to come, was walked in silence. I strangely didn’t feel the same fear that I had last year about being vulnerable, even though I was nervous about what she was going to say to me.
“You’re early. I thought you might get a little lost.”
A small sanctuary was located at the far end of the temple, which was usually not open to outsiders. The priestess Faris-dono, who was waiting there, welcomed us with a voice that was undistinguishable.
The interior of the sanctuary was more complex than any other building that I had ever seen. The reason why we didn’t get lost was surprisingly because Claudia had led us here.
“… We have someone with wild intuition.”
I felt Claudia smile slightly behind me. It wasn’t a compliment.
“That’s excellent. Well, sit down and relax. I invited you here today to listen to an old woman’s tale.”
Faris smiled charmingly in an ambiguous way and pointed at the chairs. Claudia, who was playing the role of a maid, stepped forward and pulled out a chair, and I sat down.
When Radka and Claudia sat down on the sofa at the end of the room, Faris finally stopped smiling eerily.
――― Is she tired? When she looked expressionless, it didn’t feel strange to be told that she’s the same age as Earl Thelesia, and she looked old.
No, if what Claudia had said earlier is true, then that’s her real age.
“This is the third time I’ve met you?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
I agreed when she asked this in confirmation, and she stared into my eyes. What? I couldn’t help but shrink back. She’s being very creepy today.
Faris squinted for a while and seemed to be looking at something; she looked as if she was searching deep within me as I remained silent.
Then, she suddenly muttered.
“… You’re assimilating fast. I can barely see it. Did it speed up?”
“――― Excuse me?”
I didn’t understand what she was speaking about, so I asked her about it, but Faris pretended that she hadn’t muttered anything at all. She slowly leaned back, put a calm smile on her face like the one she had on when I had first met her, then looked straight at me.
As she did so, the old age that I thought I could see earlier disappeared somewhere. In the blink of an eye, her impression changed into someone whose age and gender were unknown and was so otherworldly that it was irrational.
“How is Sigmund? I’ve heard that he’s suddenly been rash lately.”
Faris began to speak as if nothing had happened, flat sound leaked out from my throat.
“He still seems to be unwell. I hope that he’ll get better soon.”
“You can’t beat age, as long as you’re a human, that is. And, he’s still pushing himself too hard. He’s not going to get better.”
Faris hummed at the back of her throat, causing her lips to curve cynically. I don’t know if this priestess is Earl Thelesia’s ex-wife or ex-fiancée, but it seemed like they were still tied together in an inseparable relationship.
“Because work keeps piling up. I’d like him to make a full recovery and get back to work as soon as possible.”
“Well, we’ll see how that goes… We’ve already lived until an age where it wouldn’t be strange for us to die at any time.”
It was an earnest way of putting it. I exhaled air from my lungs when she said the word ‘we’.
This priestess must be prepared to die. No matter how young she looked, she was aware of how old she is, and accepted the fact, along with death.
“Are you tired?”
“No. I’m just satisfied. Well, I am. As for that guy, he still seems to have too many things he’s worried about.”
“I’ll be troubled if he suddenly went to sleep for eternity all of a sudden with no regrets.”
“I’m sure.”
It wasn’t funny or heart-breaking, I think we were just having a serious conversation. We were talking about death, yet strangely, it didn’t feel gloomy, probably because of this priestess.
“… God will surely give my soul a restful sleep. I’m looking forward to it.”
Faris looked straight into my eyes again.
Those words seeped into my ears and then into my brain. It didn’t arise any emotion in me and settled in the centre of my mind.
“What if… This is just hypothetical. Faris-dono, what if your soul came back into the world and didn’t rest…?”
When I came to, I had already blurted out that question in a mutter.
Faris blanked out and looked at me like an innocent child for a moment, then she relaxed and smiled. It was a smile of compassion, but also a smile of pity. It was a beautiful smile, like Saint Sheen’s, and I was surprised that she could smile like that.
“Misorua doesn’t have the power to bring souls back to life. Therefore, that is neither fortunate nor unfortunate, nor is it fate, it’s just a coincidence. There is no other way but to carve out your life again with your own strength, pick and choose, and struggle through life. As long as you’re alive.”
The old woman’s words were heavy, but it still went straight to my mind.
… If this is true, then the memory of my previous life is not inevitable, but a coincidence. Thinking that, I felt a little less gloomy about those memories.
Then with a nod, Faris’s saintly smile changed drastically.
She was still smiling, but I was momentarily startled by the drastic change. I heard a faint groan from Radka, who had been standing silently behind me until now.
“Now, let’s get down to business. I didn’t call you here today to deepen your faith or ask you about how Sigmund is doing.”
“I thought not.”
I’m sure neither of us are free. She invited me here because she had something important to tell me, so I responded in kind.
“When people get together, there will be disagreements and factions will form, no matter the organisation. The larger the organisation, the more striking it becomes. It is said that a faction is created just when three people get together.”
… Is she talking about the House of Lords? Ever since I woke up, I’ve been anxious by the disturbing news that arose from my disagreement with the northern nobles. Faris had started speaking in a tone that strangely resembled Earl Thelesia’s and spoke to me as if she was lecturing me, so I listened to her.
“It’s the same with the temple.”
However, what Faris had said was so shocking and far beyond my expectation that I was taken aback.
“Before Arxia Kingdom was created, the King and his attendants married spouses from the temple and entrusted their children and relatives with the land and the citizens.”
“… Really?”
“Indeed, it’s true. The church has recorded the history of the kingdom since ancient times… Things that don’t appear in the kingdom’s history books also certainly appear in our history books. We have been protecting the closest thing to factual history, that no one can falsify.”
Faris nodded calmly and I recalled the history that Lady Marechan taught me. It is said that nobility began with those who were recognised by the King and had assisted him. On second thought, that was a vague statement, and it wasn’t wrong even if those people were from the church.
But it’s true that I found this hard to believe considering the current power of the church, which was supposed to have created the noble system.
The church’s position is firm, and they are on the same boat as this kingdom. Considering all that, the power they can exert over this kingdom is really little. The only influence they have is in the ‘Sacred Code’, of which they are guardians, and they can’t have the power to influence the government of this kingdom, no matter how many key positions they hold.
“Of course, that is fine. The code doesn’t forbid that. Order is also preserved. However…”
Faris showed a frown for the first time. It was the first time I’d ever seen such a look on her face.
“There are fools in the church right now. Fools who speak false allegiance to the God of Law; who want to disturb the order and lead the kingdom to ruin.”
Faris declared and her voice sounded strongly of denounce, then in the next moment, her gaze shifted behind me.
I looked back as well and saw that Radka had frozen in place. I knew from a glance that Faris was looking at Radka.
“… Is there something wrong with my maid?”
“No. But I was wondering if your attendant had any idea of whom I’m speaking of.”
Radka flustered under Faris’s ghastly smile.
“Faris-dono, my attendant was born and raised in a village at my fief. Even in the royal capital, I keep her by my side and don’t take my eyes off of her. It’s not possible for her to be involved in a plot to ruin the kingdom.”
It wasn’t possible for me to accept her accusation, and I couldn’t ask Radka about it either. However, he turned even paler as soon as I covered for him.
Does he really know what Faris is talking about? My hands became sweaty from panic, and my palms were slimy. No, you need to calm down. I quietly took a deep breath so that no one would notice.
“Of course, Viscountess Kaldia. I also don’t believe that your attendant is involved in such a thing. But even if she isn’t, she knows what I’m talking about, doesn’t she?”
Faris didn’t even take her gaze off Radka and replied in a calm voice which was opposite to my panic. Her question indicated that she was confident about this. No, is it more appropriate to say that she was asking for confirmation?
“I have obtained a record of a nun who spread outrageous ideas throughout the kingdom, in a place called Cyril Village in Kaldia fief. It’s the fief where you were born and raised. Do you know anything about this? 『Elize-dono』.”
I got goosebumps. How much does this priestess know?
I’ve been careful to avoid letting information about which village 『Elize』is from, from going around. Even if she has known Earl Thelesia for a long time, he would never tell Faris, a complete outside, about sensitive information.
How does she know about this?
Does having the eyes of god mean this?
“… I…”
Radka was about to say something but choked. His frozen eyes flickered between Faris and I many times.
Gulp, my throat rang. I clenched my fingertips and brought my body and head back to the front, straight towards Faris.
“――― If you’re talking about the fief where she was born and raised, then I was also born and raised there.”
Faris looked back from Radka to me and seemed slightly surprised. There was no smile on her face. I continued to speak in an untarnished tone.
“Priestess Faris, you must already know that the nun, who holds dangerous ideology, carried out missionary work in Cyril Village. What other information could you possibly want from a child my age?”
“… Hmm. You seem to have a lot of faith in your attendant, Viscountess Kaldia.”
“Indeed. She’s a citizen of my fief. How can I, her feudal lord, not put my faith in her?”
Faris blinked a few times, then lifted the edge of her mouth in a grin. She nodded, “I see,” and her overbearing, threatening attitude faded away as if she was relaxed.
“What you say is right. But I would advise you not to keep her by your side.”
… Advice, you say? I could feel suspicion and discomfort from the ways she said, and how she phrased it. Priestess Faris’s expression didn’t change even when I showed her a disgusted frown.
“Don’t make yourself vulnerable. There are too many enemies down your path. If you can’t let go of them, then be stricter on them.”
It sounded as if she was singing. And yet, I felt my stomach get a lot heavier.
“… I’ll take your words to heart.”
The voice I had squeezed out was low. There was nothing I could say in reply. Why is this priestess so good at swaying my emotions like this?
“Don’t look so scary. You have to be more careful and cautious now.”
Careful and cautious. Earl Thelesia and I compared notes and I’ve always been careful and cautious since before coming to the royal capital, but she’s saying I have to be even more so?
“What do you mean by that?”
The moment I asked this, the smile on Priestess Faris’s face disappeared as if it had been chipped off.
“… The nuns who did missionary work in Cyril Village. They seem to be frequenting Nordsterm lately.”
An unpleasant tension ran down my spine as soon as I heard that name.
“This is a warning, Viscountess Kaldia. Pay more attention to your surroundings, more than ever before. Distance everything from you if necessary or put it away so deep that no one can reach it. ―――Stand alone if you don’t want to suffer.”
“Wait, I said wait…!”
The moment I got off the carriage, I grabbed Radka’s wrist and strode quickly into the mansion.
I didn’t even look at the servants who had quickly bowed and welcomed me home, and rushed for the innermost room. I told the maid, who was cleaning the room, to leave since I wanted to have a word to my attendant, and that no one should come near.
Then, I approached Radka when we were alone.
“Tell me everything you know about the nuns. Right now.”
Nuns going in and out of Nordsterm. It was concluded that they are a dangerous faction of the church who are anti-nobles, which is consistent with the information given to me by Margrave Moudon. I wanted to know all the information that I could get, since I didn’t know the movements of the northern nobles.
――― Behind that reasoning, fire-like emotions violently swirled within me. It was burning, yet terrifyingly old, and painfully froze the depths of my heart.
“… I don’t know much.”
Radka’s eyes shook in panic, probably because he could read my emotions. He was confused since he didn’t know why my emotions were riled up ――― of course he would be. Even I can’t express in words what these emotions are.
“You don’t know?”
I gripped Radka’s wrist tighter. The rage I felt was spilling out slowly.
“Hey, calm down a bit. They only stayed in the village for a short while, and it’s already been two years since then. You don’t have to get that worked up about it, do you?”
Radka told me while taking a step away from me. The pain from his wrist caused him to frown a little.
“And, they did indeed say that nobles are bad, but they didn’t do anything suspicious while staying in the village…”
“Then tell me everything you remember. In a way that isn’t distorted by your personal views. This is an order from your feudal lord.”
“… Hah?”
Radka turned grim at once.
“You talked to the nuns, didn’t you? What were they like? What did you talk about? What did you feel, what did you think?”
I knew that my words were like icicles, and yet I let them escape from my lips. My clenched nails dug into the palm of my hand.
“… What’s with you?”
He muttered, and the wrist that I was gripping flicked away.
“Elize.”
“That’s not my name!”
He yelled as if he had exploded and kicked the floor. “Get a grip,” I reached out to grab his collar, but he grabbed mine first with both hands and pulled me towards him.
“You’re the one who should get a grip! I’m not alive so that you can do whatever you want to me!”
His reddish eyes looked irritated and full of anger. They were just as intense as when I had first met him, yet they were different from the cloudy eyes that I had seen back then.
“You… I allowed you to live.”
“So what?! I didn’t ask you to let me live! I wouldn’t surrender my everything, even if it’s to the person who kept me alive!”
My head boiled as soon as I heard those words. My hands moved faster than my thoughts. I brushed off the hand that was holding my collar and slapped his cheek. Radka stepped back and glared at me from behind his bangs. Blood oozed from the edge of his mouth as if my nails had scratched him.
“Ah…”
The moment I realised what I had done, the head quickly receded from my head and I grew pale.
“… If you don’t like it then you can abandon me or kill me. 『Radka』is already dead anyway. But even if 『I』died, I wouldn’t be yours.”
Radka declared in a low and dangerous tone, then he slipped past me and left the room.
I let out the breath that I had been holding in for some time at the sound of the door loudly banging shut, and slid against the door.
Then, I took another deep breath. What the fuck am I doing? … I lost my temper. I don’t even know why I was so emotional. On top of that, I took it out on a child who was being pushed around for my own convenience.
This isn’t good, I opened my clenched palm. I have to control my emotions. I have to learn how to control them.
“… Eleanor-dono. Are you alright?”
Knocks came from the other side of the door.
“My name is Eliza, not Eleanor, Claudia-dono.”
I uttered the usual words almost on reflex. But I couldn’t answer the question about whether I was alright or not, and my lips flapped open and closed.
“Ah, I’m sorry, Eliza-dono. Uh, so… why don’t we have tea if you’re done with your business. I’m thirsty.”
“Alright. Please wait in the living room. I’ll go there after I take off my jacket.”
When I implied that I wanted to be left alone for a little longer, there was another knock at the door as if she understood, then I heard her footsteps moving away.
… When the sound was far enough away, I lightly bumped the back of my head against the door. Then I scolded myself for making her worry.
Calm down. There was no longer anyone here to unclench my pale hand.