"... This is the worst."
That was the thought that escaped Freed's lips.
It had taken him a little time to come to terms with the situation.
He simply couldn't accept that time had rewound and that he was in his past self.
Above all, what depressed him was this:
"... I have to train all over again."
Freed's consciousness had, somehow, shifted into the body of his self from four or five years ago.
He had memories of "the future."
No one would believe him if he told them something like that.
Freed could only bear this situation alone.
He considered his own body as the "worst" part.
No matter how much knowledge of the future he had...
His body had been changed back to the frail thing it had been five years ago.
Holding the memories alone doesn't make your body stronger.
Strength can only be gained through time and training.
And reflexes wouldn't respond to "your mind" alone.
Unless he rebuilt his experience from scratch, Freed could not even reach the level of his former self.
"Damn it...! Why, why this..."
Five years' worth of his own training had been wiped away.
His spirits were crushed, and even his daily training lacked its old vigour.
Along with resignation, fear welled up in Freed.
It was a fear of, "At this rate, won't I lose everything?"
Freed possessed the skills of a knight. He had had confidence in the body he had refined and honed.
But all of that had rested on his "future body."
His arms and legs were thinner than they used to be. His stamina had waned. His reflexes no longer worked properly.
It felt as though he were spending every day burdened by heavy shackles.
Until he regained his former strength, there was no chance he could become a glorious Royal Guard.
And, to do so, he would need to repeat his daily training all over again.
If he didn't... he would just be a weak dropout, nothing more.
"Tch...!"
So "the worst" was the only word for it. Training itself isn't supposed to be a torment.
But it couldn't be called training unless it was painful and harsh. No matter how much talent one possessed, that did not change.
"Why is this happening...!"
Even so, he couldn't simply accept this absurd phenomenon.
His efforts had been reduced to nothing, for reasons he could not even fathom.
Is this permitted? Was it acceptable?
Freed had wanted to go back. To the previous time.
Freed had never asked for a second life.
He didn't have a single "regret" in his past life that required a do over...
".............. There is."
After thinking and agonizing over this, he came to a realization.
The one regret Freed carried was regarding a certain woman.
Merc Schliegen. A woman who, by the time he had met her, had already belonged to another man.
No, "belonged" was not quite accurate.
But, it was certain that her heart belonged solely to Leonhardt.
Even so, the love that had whirled up within him had also been real.
An encounter that had felt almost shocking. Her smile. Her words.
All of it had moved Freed's heart. It felt like a fated encounter.
But at the same time, that "flower" was one he could never pluck for himself.
For it was clear that she cherished his lord.
At first he had thought that Merc's love was unrequited.
After all, Leonhardt had a fiancée at the time.
But she, Angelina Schteizen, had committed errors of her own that effectively cast that betrothal aside.
"... Now, in this present time."
Merc and Leonhardt had, perhaps, not yet met.
If he were to meet her before his lord, then perhaps...
But would that not be like using some supernatural phenomenon to steal his lord's woman?
No, no one should be able to charge him with a crime. After all, time had been rewound.
But still.
"... Merc."
If he met her first, would fate change?
Would the feelings he had not even been allowed to voice in the previous time finally come to fruition?
Perhaps, this time was for that very purpose...
"Damn it! In any case, I have to train again!"
He was overcome by the urge to set off right away, but he had no idea where Merc was at the moment.
He had heard that she was originally an orphan. But by the time he had met her, Merc was already Baron Schliegen's daughter.
So where was she now? At the orphanage? Or had she already been taken in?
In that case, perhaps he should send a proposal to the Baron house while he still could; after all, he might have a chance since he was from a marquess house.
"... No."
The current him was a weak man. Until he regained his former strength, he wouldn't even have the prestige of being a Royal Guard.
There might be women who liked rough knights, but such a person didn't suit Merc's smile.
Furthermore, Merc's true identity was that of a descendant of the previous Alstroemeria royal family.
In other words, a "mere knight" didn't suit her.
Therefore, to corner and tie down a woman who at this moment was no more than a baron's daughter, no more than an orphan, was something he couldn't do.
That would surely lead to something she did not want. She was a woman who could go on to a far more brilliant place.
Freed couldn't take advantage of her origins, and bind her up as if clipping her wings...
So, for Freed, who could think of nothing but walking the path of the knight, he believed that he couldn't go after Merc unless he was at least a "Royal Guard".
Besides, his current self was the self of five years ago, with only the weak body he had had before he had trained himself.
Even if a mere knight managed to win her heart, that would only cause her hardship.
"... Retraining."
Freed wished. That this time, she would become his destiny.
But at the same time, Freed carried a sense of resignation. Just as he had in the previous time.
That noble woman was beyond his reach.
That what was reflected in those eyes was, after all, not him.
While holding both expectation and resignation within, Freed simply... honed his skills.
He had even defeated his older brother, a feat which he will accomplish further in the "future", a full year earlier this time.
Freed had once dismissed regression "of only the mind" as meaningless, but it seemed there were things that remained in this timeline.
He would once again come to set foot in the royal palace, as a "candidate" for Royal Guard, a close aide to the Crown Prince Leonhardt.
Though they were rivals in love, he had no intention of harming Leonhardt. Freed certainly possessed loyalty.
And so, sure enough, he would come to know "fate" once again.
The Royal Academy. The "scholarship student" Merc, who would enroll in the same year as him. The girl he met again in this time was...
"Leonhardt-sama..."
Already in love. In her eyes was reflected his lord.
Even if there was something directed toward himself, it was nothing more than kindness.
(Aah... Of course. So there really is such a thing as fate.)
Then for what reason had he repeated time? After all, there had been no meaning to it.
His efforts had simply been taken from him. Perhaps, the same thing might happen again.
"Haha..."
In an instant, his will for everything began to drain away. Meaningless. Useless. In vain. What was the purpose of his life?
Why had he taken up his sword?
It has already been two years since time was rewound. Was he destined to repeat the same fate?
He gazed at the "flower" he could not have from a place near yet far.
Freed felt as though he had lost everything, and spent his time alone.
The giddy feeling he had felt when he first entered the Academy was long gone.
He had already attended this school for two years in his "previous life."
The feeling of "nostalgia" was the stronger one, and he did not have anything like anticipation for a new life.
What filled Freed's mind was "emptiness."
In the end, everything might be overturned again.
His worthless effort, his training... could he keep on with them, from here on out?
With a deep sigh, all... he could do was swing his sword.